It looks like the process of working on HOPE continues to be a catalyst for my own personal development. At least the changes that I feel happening in me get reflected on the HOPE pages. What occurred to me at this time is a sense that his Personal Process page and the main HOPE site seem to be merging into one. Although I don’t go into the details on the main site, what seems to be changing in my own presence coming more and more into my blogs. I am feeling closer to myself and to whoever might be reading the postings. This leads me to pay more attention to what is arising in my life at this time and how it is related to the HOPE initiative. Sometimes the relationship is obvious and other times it is more subtle.
There is also a subtle shift becoming clear to me around my inner motivations for writing the blog and my relationship to the blog post itself. It seems to me that when I started this project, I was mostly motivated by wanting to inform others about what is happening on the evolutionary front. This stemmed from a sense that most news was not reaching the mainstream media or that people don’t have time to hunt for information and I could provide a service around this. My deeper drive was a sense of urgency and an underlying fear of the lack of action from the general public.
I am in a slightly different place today. I still feel the sense of urgency and the other issues but my engagement feels more driven by love than fear. I have a more relaxed attitude to the project and trust that what and when I write is good enough and will serve whatever it serves. I have accepted more that it i actually possible that we won’t be able to do what needs to be done in time and if that happens it is serving something greater that we don’t understand from this perspective. At the same time I am more aware of the massive movement of initiatives and projects that are moving people and the planet in a new direction, despite the fact that this is not always visible because of our current way of perceiving in the main media. Yet some things are beginning to bleed through and reach us in bits and pieces. Some stunning articles, some amazing discoveries. Those who have eyes to see, will see. And those who don’t won’t notice a transformational aspect beginning to show through.
What is causing my change? I think my most current blog helps explain it somewhat. It has to do with allowing and feeling the pain and fear, at times almost despair, the anger at my family and friends who don’t look, and all the negative feeling and reactions this work was bringing into my life. I have learned with my Diamond Work that the only way through is to go into the pain. This message is repeated through the Pachamama material and I believe I was able to see the power of it because of my own process.
My own spiritual experiences are also expanding and bringing me a great sense of support and trust. Through the continual inquiry of what is present at this moment, allowing it to really be there, without pushing it away has helped me to move to another level of commitment and experience.
I continue to study the evolutionary impulse, the evolutionary trends and seek teachers who emphasize these approaches. These programs support my Diamond Work and align well with my other human development theories that I have studied over the years. The Integral Approach is also coming more and more into my studies and my contacts. My network of people involved in this work is expanding exponentially. Right now I am studying with Craig Hamilton whom I found through the Shift Network, although he is in the Integral Movement. His course is called Awakening to an Evolutionary Relationship to Life. This is an advanced and intensive program that goes over 9 sessions geared to move participants to a deeper relationship with their Essence Self which he calls Evolutionary Self. What is interesting is that there are over one thousand people attending from I think it was 47 countries— a truly global community of evolutionary seekers. The entire program is supported by an extensive on-line community with small groups of 16 and many places for sharing and getting to know people in my local area. Plus I am connecting with other individuals doing Human Emergence work around the world and feel guided and flowing around new connections.
I have just turned 70 and feel like my “real” life is just beginning. A freedom and a purpose fill my soul. This is amazing to me as I actually dreaded turning 70 – it seemed like the beginning of the end! But instead I am able to take life in more deeply and feel my heart open wider in compassion for myself and the world.